New year, new goals

2012 Goals:

1. Read more: concrete goal of 2 books/month: Well, I got REAL close to this one. I literally read 23 of my 24 goal books this year, thanks in big part, again, to my Kindle. I think I was at about 18-19 last year, so a marked improvement. I'm gonna count this one as accomplished!

2. Get back to goal weight by family vacation in July. Well, this one, not so much. I'm still about 13 lbs above my goal weight, but I DID manage to lose 8 lbs this year. I give myself a B-/C+ on this one. There were times when I was really dedicated and times when I wasn't. I lost and regained focus a lot, but I successfully avoided any marathon-related weight gain and came out of the year weighing less than when I started, so I give this a half-victory.

3. Try something new in fitness. Didn't quite get around to it in 2012. Bummer.

4. Bake a cheesecake. Didn't really have an opportunity for this one. Maybe for hubby's birthday this year?

5. Visit somewhere new. This one is perennially on my list, and I can say that it was definitely accomplished! We went to Cedar Point, OH, Newmarket, NH & Portland, ME this year!

6. Learn something new. Well, I didn't make a concerted effort to learn anything new this past year, but I started a new job and that gave me something to strive toward.

7. Pay down debt. Eh, not so great with this one. I consolidated some debt and I have been good about paying it, but it seemed to have opened me up to spend more for some reason. Really hoping I can pay off one or two smaller balances this year and then TEAR UP THE CARDS FOR REAL.

8. Floss more & stop playing with my phone behind the wheel. Part one, I definitely accomplished. I re-committed to flossing in May and while I'm still not perfect about it, I am much, much more regular about dental hygeine than ever before. I'm a little rusty about playing with my phone, but I do think I'm better at this than I had been previously. B+ on both efforts.

Things I accomplished this year in addition to the above goals:

A. PR-ed the marathon. Beat 2011's time by 26 minutes, a significant 1-minute per mile improvement. BOOM! Confindent that my next try will get me under that 5 hr mark.

B. Visited 3 new states! I don't have a stated goal of visiting all the 50 U.S. states, but I do get a weird pleasure out of seeing new places and crossing them off my list. Our NH/ME trip was a last-minute type decision and despite the long drive, we had a blast.

C. Bought a new car! Well, new to me anyway. Finally took the plunge and another step into adulthood with a car payment. I love, love, love my 2009 Civic.

D. Started a new job. So, so happy about this one. Really changed a lot for me.

E. Had a reunion with my best college girlfriends and made time for the great friendships in my life. Hooray!

F. Put a chocolate cake into a county fair contest in the hopes of reaching blue-ribbon status for entry into the PA Farm Show. Didn't happen, but I put myself out there at least! Try, try again...

Overall, 2012 was a pretty good year. I'd say even better than 2011, which was a little lackluster. Cheers to 2013!

2013 Goals.
1. Read more. This one's not going anywhere any time soon. I got really close to my goal last year, so I'm gonna make it 30 books for 2013. Just started the Harry Potter series and hubby upgraded my Kindle for my birthday this year, so really looking forward to this one.

2. JESUS LORD GET BACK TO GOAL WEIGHT. I'm serious, people. I'm glad for the bit of weight I lost last year, but I'm bit perturbed that almost none of my summer clothes fit me because I bought them all in 2010 when I was skinny. Damnit. I need to lose about 13lbs this year to get there, but I'd ideally like to lose about 20, get toned and just MAINTAIN. Started by calorie counting (again) and putting $10 on losing 4% thru DietBet.com

3. Break PRs in my shorter distances. My A goal this year is to break 26 minutes for the 5k. Not sure how do-able this is with the extra weight I'm carrying, but I've been doing some treadmill speedwork and hopefully it'll pay off. I'd also LOVE to break an hour in the 10k too.

4. Pay down debt. No, seriously, Nicole. Stop spending money you don't have.

5. Save for Australia. In order to afford the 30th birthday trip around the world I've dreamed of, I have to start saving now. Going to try to eek out about $300-$350/month in dedicated savings for this, starting this month.

6. Bake something new. Cheesecake or otherwise, I have some new cookbooks, new cook wear, and I'm eager to try something a bit more challenging than cookies.

7. Visit somewhere OR do something new. Funds and time off is limited this year, so hopefully one or the other will happen this year.

8. Make Jason's 40th memorable. This is kind of a weak goal, but I've never really planned a party for someone else before. I have a bit of event planning experience left over from the wedding, but I'll be really happy if I can get a bunch of people together and for him to say he had a great time marking this milestone birthday.

9. If at all possible, learn how to change my own damned oil.

As always, these are overarching goals for the new year, not "resolutions" because hell if anyone meets their "resolutions." I also reserve the right to add onto this list at any point and remove/alter as the year progresses. I never wait for Jan 1 to "begin" these goals, but it is a great marker of a new start, a fresh beginning in the eternal struggle of becoming the people we imagine our best selves to be.

I want to spend this year focused on my relationships: keeping in better touch, letting go of poisonous ones, and really dedicating myself to being the kind of spouse that my husband is to me: supportive, patient, kind, and a calm, clear communicator about my needs and feelings.

Anything above and beyond these goals is just a bonus. Welcome, 2013. I'm excited to see what you bring for me & those I love.

Doubt be damned

... or how I learned to stop worrying and run a marathon (again).

I went into this race with a lot of negative emotions. My first marathon wasn't great. Despite my posts to the contrary, I never actually hit 20 miles in training (although I did do three 18 milers). And those long runs? They were torture. I had speedwork that sometimes was wonderful and other times when I couldn't get a quarter mile without needing to hop off the treadmill belt. I really had to fight against the inner voice in my head telling me that the marathon was just something too big for me to tackle.

I did my best to play everything smart. Hydrated like a mofo from Friday evening on. Cut the caffeine too. Saturday was big breakfast at Cracker Barrel, shoveled in a sandwich and pretzels for lunch, and had salmon and rice at PF Chang's for dinner. No fiber, no alcohol, no nothing. Went to bed around 9 on Saturday night and slept pretty well given the circumstances.

Alarm went off at 4:25am Sunday morning. Found the room microwave was out, so I ventured down to the lobby in my PJs to ask for some assistance in getting my pre-race breakfast of oatmeal off the ground. Had that, a banana, and probably 16oz of water before we left.

We parked at Amtrak and I snuck into some nearby port-o-johns for relief. About a 20 minute walk to the start just as they were sending off the elites. It was a long way up to my corral (last) so I said goodbye to my support crew (sister & hubby) and waited about another 30 minutes for my group to get the green light.

Miles 1-6
And we're off! I did my best to keep it slow. Didn't turn my music on right away and when I did, I had it lined up with some slower, mellower songs. No big surprises here, a couple of downhills to enjoy and although I was taking it easy, feeling good, and telling myself to keep it slow, I still managed about an 11-11:20 pace. Turned the corner onto South Street and ran until I saw my crew just before mile 6. They had my favorite signs and I stopped for a minute to say hey and re-tie my shoes. As I had stopped, I realized I was just ahead of the 5:00 pacer and almost crapped myself with joy! I hurried to get back up with them.

Miles 7-12.5
This is where the first challenging parts of the course hit. We ran past the zoo and up through Fairmont Park, with its big gigantic hill (well, gigantic for Philly anyway). The crowd support was awesome, lots of personal signs and supporters but also the cheer zones of just groups of volunteers whooping it up and keeping me smiling. Toward the end of this segment is where my groin started really hurting. I took one stretching break which really seemed to relieve the pain. Oh, and did I mention that I had been holding in pee for the last 10 miles? The portojohn lines were ridiculous, so I just kept telling myself I didn't have to go that bad.

Once I saw my crew again before the hill at mile 12.5ish, I stopped to say hey. Oh, and took a pee behind this embankment. I stretched again, re-tied my shoes (wtf?) and snagged a Twizzler. Hubby asked if I was feeling good, if I had another 13.1 in me. I said, "I guess...". I truly believe that I had been out there alone yesterday I probably would have said a half's enough and snuck off to the right to the finish line. But, my people were there -- they came for a marathon, and dammit, that's what I was gonna give them.

Miles 13-18
Mentally this is where it started to get tough again. I was only about 5-6 minutes behind the pacer, feeling sore but still okay, but I could see everyone in the turn-around coming back at approx miles 23-25 while I was just getting started on the back half. I mean, these are some speedy people! Just difficult getting my head around how much more I really had to do. I was taking about 0.1-0.2 mile walking breaks at every mile marker and then really trying to push it after that until the next marker. Again, as I saw the 5:00 pacer, I realized that even though I was hurting, I was only about 6-8 minutes behind them which still felt great. I turned my music off for a bit to focus and concentrate on just getting one foot in front of the other.

I have to say that I also managed (by some miracle) to fuel properly during this race. I knew from my upset stomach last year that gels/shots weren't going to cut it. I needed real food to go 26.2 miles. So, I ate a gel with water around mile 4, but by mile 9, I dug into a Clif Bar I had in my fuel belt and that really helped me feel like I had enough food energy to keep going.


Miles 18-22
This is where it started to really suck. By 18 I was waiting, waiting, waiting, for the turnaround in Manayunk that felt like it would never come. I seriously considered cutting the course and joining people who were already on their way back after I hit the last timing pad (only thing separating the out and back directions at some points were traffic cones). But, I kept it honest and slugged through. At 20 I texted hubby to say I was never, ever doing this again. About mile 21 is where my legs REALLY started to say enough, but they didn't understand we still have 5+ miles yet to go.

Miles 22-25.5
My sister Missy walked back along the course to find me (second time she's done that so I apparently can't run any marathons without her!) and pep-talked me toward the finish. We were doing a five minute run, one minute walk interval while she played some tunes off her phone. She let me walk through the water stops, but pushed me to hit the mile markers. I started losing count of where we were and as I saw 5:10 and 5:15 slip away, I just focused on knowing I was going to beat my previous marathon time and started feeling positive about that.

Finally got to my husband around mile 25 and he kept with us for a little bit, but eventually both he and my sister broke off and let me finish the last 0.7 of the race.

Miles 25.5-26.2
I walked a bit in here, but for the last 0.2 I was running, taking high fives and thanking spectators who read my name off my bib and encouraged me through the shoot. I was smiling like a big dope knowing that I was so close to the finish. As I came in a great military emcee was announcing us & as I crossed the finish line I actually put my hands up in victory. I took the heat sheet from a volunteer and began sobbing. I had done it! The text came in with my official time -- 5:22:29, a full 26 minutes faster than my first marathon time, one minute for every mile.

The next set of volunteers put my medal over my neck and I just kept crying. I had done it. It was finally over, I didn't quit, and I beat my old time and had just such a better, more enjoyable experience all around.

Thank you Philly. I'll definitely be back.


What's next? For me, not another marathon. At least not yet anyway. I really want to break 5 hours. This race proved to me that with just a little more training, more focus on those last painful miles, I do have it in me to get there. Now, though, I want to switch gears and work on speed. I want to drop some weight and get back to an average 9:30mm pace and hopefully break 26 minutes in a 5k for 2013.

Marathon reflections

So, I'm a week out from marathon #2.

My emotions over these last 18 weeks have been pretty much all over the place. I've felt invincible, strong, and in control with some runs. There were long runs where I just got into the groove and really felt as though I was flying or I was just merely a passenger atop my legs as we were coasting along. I've pushed through the speedwork and several times slamdunked it. But, there were also times where I couldn't get my legs to turn over no matter how I tried. When my hips, heart, and head begged for me to stop. When I took a walking break less than a quarter mile after I had just taken one.

I can't say for sure if I feel better or worse about my training this time than the first time. Was I more aware of my pace? Probably. Was I any faster? Probably not. When I trained for Gettysburg I was at my peak of speed, but I had also put on some weight. I'm a bit lighter (although not yet back to goal) but I haven't broken a PR at all this year (and I did a healthy amount of races). I had a lot of struggles with runner's gut this season and what seemed to work for me (or at least not affect me), completely threw me for a loop this time.

I have a lot of bad associations with the marathon from last time. I felt great (relatively speaking) through mile 16. I had the wonderful support of my family and husband. But, the wheels came off. I THREW UP on the side of the damned road. I finished in the bottom 5% of runners and I ended up with a time that was no where near what I initially hoped for. I desperately needed my sister in the last mile stretch as I could barely jog, let alone run, as my stomach and muscles gave out on me. I sobbed after I finished.

What do I think will change for this run? Well, I'm running a completely different race. Different time of year (May versus November) and different crowd (~1,000 runners versus ~30,000). Now that the first marathon is over, I know what to expect. I know now (and have practiced) that going out slow helps me to conserve energy throughout the race. I know I need fuel (not just energy gels) to get through 4+ hours of running. I know to stay away from anything with fiber the last 2 days before the race.

I have a lot of goals for this race. I have a series of cut-off times that I would be happy with, obviously the faster the happier I would be. I really want to finish this race with a killer time so I can hang up my marathon shoes for good -- or at least for a good long while. I respect this distance enough to know it's not for me in the long haul. But I want all the running I've done over the last several months to count for something.

And this is where the doubt creeps in. Did I do enough? Train, run, eat, sleep, crosstrain, stretch, strengthen, foam roll, ice, dedicate enough? I'm supposed to trust the process and trust my training, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still afraid of the DNF or of a worse time than my first. I'll honestly be really glad when this phase of my athletic life can come to close and I can focus my energies on something less stressful!

Hershey half race report

Unique, interesting title, right?

Anyway, this race report won't have too much detail. I mostly signed up for this race for three reasons: 

1. It's close to home (about 15 miles and 40 minutes away).
2. It fit perfectly into my marathon training (cut back week)
3. It features chocolate and free passes to Hershey Park.

 My goals for this race were pretty simple: go out at and maintain marathon pace, don't work too hard, but don't phone it in either, and don't crap myself.

We got up around 6 on Sunday morning with a goal departure time of 6:20 to make it to the race before the roads closed at 7. I ate an apple cinnamon bagel, half with PB and half with butter and tried to drink water, but I only managed to get about 6-8oz down before I forgot about it in the hubbub of getting ready. I wore race-ready shirts, double shorts (spandex and athletic), filled my "fuel belt" with my water bottle and clif shot blox and we were on our way.

We actually drove through a part of the course around mile 6, which was neat. We saw some volunteers headed toward the aid station near that mile marker. It took us a while to get in and get parked because other runners (drivers) were being assholes, but we eventually got set up. I made the run for the port-o-johns and a nice photographer took mine & hubby's picture! (Usually he's the only one taking pictures, so there's hardly ever any proof that he's there or that we're there together. And don't get bent out of shape on the whole copyright thing because I plan on purchasing this):

Proof indeed!

 So, the race actually started on time (go figure!) and I barely made it to my pace group before the gun went off. I was aiming for 11mm (give or take), but I ended up toward the front of the 10mm group, so sorry other runners! We went through the parking lot, around the Giant Center and back around, making a big loop until it fed us out onto Hersheypark Drive. That was probably the first real hill up the offramp, but it was also the "Miracle Mile" for the Children's Miracle Network, so being thanked by parents whose kids your race money helps is pretty humbling and puts any big bad hill into perspective.

Then we turned into the park, running past all my favorite sights and rides, eventually passing my ultimate favorite, Stormrunner, before exiting the park and heading out onto the streets of Hershey. Hubby was stationed somewhere around mile 3 inside the park, which was wonderful because I knew I wouldn't see him for some time afterward due to the way the course was laid out.

We then started running through the streets of Hershey, and this is kinda where I blanked out. I know there was a hill around mile 6. This is also where the KitKat costume guy was stationed, and I tried to use my phone to snag a picture, but unfortunately my phone tried to take video instead, so fail.

Then we turned a corner, hit the halfway mark where the relayers switched off, and continued up and down a couple more hills before turning onto the Hershey Country Club's golf course. It was beautiful out there and to be honest I think it's probably a good sign that I don't remember much of these miles because it probably means things were going well.

I didn't have to poop, I was on pace or better, and I was taking a short walking break about once a mile, although I don't think I took one before mile 5 or so.

I did start to get a shooting pain in backside, which I assumed was one of my kidneys shutting down, but I ate another shot blok, drank some water, and powered on.

Eventually hubby gave me the text that he was stationed at mile 12, so I knew that before the real end I had something to look forward to, so I just kept thinking of him, updating him with my progress.

Eventually I got to mile 11.5, which was the chocolate aid station and saw this magnificent sight:

The Reese's guy, handing out Reese's mini fast break candies. I grabbed one from a volunteer and shouted "Oh hell yeah!" which got a good laugh. I wasn't prepared to eat it right then, but I tucked it away for later. We were then making our final descent back into the park.

I guess I was still coming down off the high of Reese's man, because I almost missed my husband at mile 12. He snapped a few quick shots, ran with me for a bit, then left me to climb the last big hill of the course.

Eventually we hit the parking lot again and made the last long loop around Hersheypark Stadium before turning in to finish on the track.

We ended up with a great medal that looks like a freakin' Reese's cup (LOVE) and they jammed some mini Kisses on top of a huge oatmeal raisin cookie and I loved every bite.




I seriously have no complaints about this race. I finished in 2:26:45, which is about a 11:10mm pace, which is exactly where I want to be for the marathon next month. Not my fastest by any means, but I'm so proud of the fact that I started out slow (aka at goal pace) and had energy and felt good pretty much all the way through the race (which never happens). I didn't take advantage of them, but the aid stations were pretty regular, clearly marked, and the crowd support was great. The course featured all the fun things I wanted, some challenging, but fair hills, and great swag at the end. Probably one of my best/favorite race experiences to date.

Thanks, Hershey!

New England

Better than Old England?

This is what used to be the "Old Man of the Mountain", til it fell off. Too bad it's already all over NH.

This weekend the Hubby and I were off exploring some new states. I have a friend who's PhD-ing at the University of New Hampshire and couldn't resist a long weekend opportunity to make the drive up and visit her. Once I discovered that UNH is literally right across the border from Maine, I also couldn't resist crossing into another state, particularly one famous for it's lobster (or "lobsta").

We started out on Friday night making the long trek from PA to NH, driving through upstate NY, into CT, MA, and finally into NH.

We didn't arrive until about midnight, so we were mostly doing this when we got there.


The next morning it was someone's dumb idea (mine) to run a 5k in conjunction with a local apple festival. We took my friend's new St. Bernard puppy along with us and he was pretty much the star of this festival. Do not underestimate the power of a cute dog in a crowded place. The 5k went okay -- with the exhaustion I was just going out to finish -- and I came home with some candy corn and caramel apple fudge!

Then we visited some local sites: waterfalls, the UNH campus, and the NH beaches in Rye. I have to say I was pretty impressed with the NH shoreline here. It's much more rocky than sandy, but honestly, I kinda enjoy it more that way. I could definitely be more of a beach person if THAT was the beach I frequented (or lived 20 minutes from, as my friend does).

Still exhausted from our drive and our run, we ordered burgers in and baked apple cake, catching up on life.

Sunday, we packed up all our crap again and headed further east to Portsmouth where we met up with my cousin Kelly and her fiance for brunch at the Friendly Toast (as featured on Man v. Food, and apparently among the best breakfast spots in the U.S.) I had a delicious egg scramble with goat cheese, bacon & asparagus that was TO DIE FOR. YUM.

We then continued northward over the beautiful Maine turnpike into Portland where we quickly snagged a great $5 parking space and ventured onto Lucky Catch Cruises to get a glimpse of how these lobstermen (fishermen of lobsters?) get these guys from the bay onto your dinner platter. I'm not the biggest fan of boats, or of touching sea creatures, but this was probably one of the most fun things I've ever spent $25 to do. Plus, we got to see a bunch of lighthouses on the route to all the various traps, which was neat since we didn't have much time to sight-see.

We walked around a bit, got some beverages to warm us up, and then checked-in to our B&B. We ended up at the Portland Lobster Co for dinner, drank a couple Shipyard Beers, and ended our night at a Gelato place with another local friend of mine.



The next morning I ran along the coast on a paved trail while Jason took some pictures before breakfast. I only got 5 miles in, but they were probably among the most beautiful 5 miles I've ever run. People who live in coastal towns -- you do not know how good you have it!



 
All in all, a wonderful trip. We're already looking forward to going back to spend more time exploring the great northeast!

It's the most wonderful time. . .

Fall is by far the best season. There's no question about that, really. Don't get me wrong, I love summer. I'm practically begging for it by the time winter is only half way done, but autumn is where it's at. 

With that in mind, here's a list of things that I try to do each fall to celebrate the season with a few more added in for this year:

• pick apples
• get lost in a corn maze at night
• make at least three new soups/chilis
• run a 5k
• make pumpkin cheesecake
• carve a pumpkin, even though it's obnoxiously messy to do so
• get dressed up to hand out candy for trick or treat night
• go to Halloween Haunt at Dorney Park
• do something intended to scare the crap out of me
• hike our favorite part of Hawk Mt to the Pinnacle
• try lots of pumpkin beers
• enjoy the heck out of our anniversary trip to NH/ME

Current events: Part 1

My blog has mostly been a journal of sorts. I do write here anticipating someone other than I will read it, but I'm not into blogging for any sort of readership. This is mostly a journal for me and I only write here instead of on paper or in a word document because I like the individual entries, the search-ability, etc.

But, today, I'd like to wax poetic on some broader topics.

First, Voter ID. People in my state (PA) are all up in arms on both sides of the aisle about our new Voter ID law. If you're new to the game or your state Republicans haven't already passed a law, essentially it mandates that you must show a picture photo ID with an expiration date on it in order to vote. We had a "test run" here in PA in the April primary, but you can imagine that those numbers are relatively low given the anticipated turnout for the Presidential election in November by comparison. On a purely personal note, I don't have any issue with this law. I HAVE an ID. Yes, I use it to buy alcohol, verify my identification when using a credit card, go to the Dr.'s office, checkout a library book, etc. The law does not inconvenience or put a hardship on me in any way and wouldn't have since I was sixteen.

BUT and this is a big BUT, that's not the case for many Pennsylvanians, many Americans, and particularly many minority, poor, and elderly communities. The fact that these populations tend to vote Democrat is really irrelevant. If they voted Republican I would still be kinda pissed off about it because this really makes no sense.

Here are some arguments for the law:

1. We have to maintain the integrity of the vote by ensuring that everyone is who they say they are. Okay, sure. That's fine. But there's literally been about 10 cases of actual voter fraud in the ENTIRE UNITED STATES OVER THE LAST 10 YEARS COMBINED. This is not a problem. Seriously, it's not. People do not commit voter fraud on an individual basis. What is there to gain? Literally HALF of all eligible voters never actually vote anyway, so I'm not sure people are all gung-ho over trying to take their one (or two or three I guess if you try to vote as some dead guy or something) vote to "swing" an election. This is ludicrous.

2. It's not that hard to get an ID. Really? Have you ever been to the DMV?

3. People have to use IDs for other things, so using it to vote is really no different. Here's the difference: voting is a constitutional right. We even have a couple amendments to our favorite governing document that allows African-Americans, women, and those between 18 and 21 the RIGHT to vote. You don't have a right to go to the doctor, buy alcohol, or rent a library book. ID is just something people like to have and like to require for security purposes, but it's not guaranteed in the constitution that you can get that six pack. You are guaranteed a right to vote and we did away with literacy tests and voting taxes for this express purpose -- it keeps people from voting.

Again, luckily, this doesn't impact me at all -- I have an ID -- but I don't particularly like living in a world where other people face this hurdle to exercise their constitutional rights. Honestly, THAT is what makes my vote worth less, not "voter fraud", but rather that my vote is cast on an un-level playing field and for that I'm ashamed of my state.